A Page in My Memories
by Arazora
Summary: TYL. AU. 8059 songfic inspired by Sakura Rock. Rated T for Gokudera's foul mouth. Warning: A little weird.....First songfic!


**A Page in My Memories**

Summary: TYL. AU. 8059 songfic, inspired by Sakura Rock by Cherryblossom. Warning: A little strange...

A/N: Don't like? Then don't read it. Keep your foul-mouthed comments to yourself. To those that want to read, go ahead and enjoy! Like I said, it's a little weird. Eheh.

Gokudera: A LITTLE weird? Your perspective of weird is very fucked up.

Yamamoto: Maa, maa, Gokudera! *laughs*

Me: =P Without further ado....A PAGE IN MY MEMORIES! ^^"

---------x

_I want to see you, I miss you, we're apart  
That day will never come again  
My life-sized self, I'll wave to you in the distance, raise your hand  
Put your hands up. Yeah. Oh._

"YOU BASTARD! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" the enraged shout echoed through the halls, down out the open windows that welcomed the gentle Italian spring breeze into the Vongola mansion. The shout echoed in the old halls that had seen and heard so much, echoed onto the peaceful green lawn, over the trees that had stood guard around the mansion for well over a century.

Inside one of the rooms of the building, there stood two men.

They were both tall, and both wore suits that fit snugly around their chests and broad shoulders. One had black hair and a scar on his cheek, and he wore a dark blue dress shirt underneath his black suit, the top button of the shirt undone and the suit jacket unbuttoned as well.

The other was standing with his head bowed, his fists clenched, his dark green eyes squeezed shut. His blazer was neatly buttoned over a dark red dress shirt, which he had just freshly pressed and ironed that very morning. His hair, silver in the spring sunlight that flooded through the large open windows, fell to his shoulders, loose strands framing his face.

"Hayato…" the black haired man raised his hand to touch the other's shoulder but Gokudera Hayato shrugged his shoulders, moving so that he now stood out of reach.

"Get the fuck away from me, Takeshi," he said. His voice was strained, as if he were holding back tears that threatened to break free of the Storm Guardian's self-control. "I don't want to ever see your face again, you son of a bitch."

Yamamoto Takeshi looked at Gokudera with an anguished expression, wanting so much, at that moment, to be able to turn back time, turn it back to ten years earlier, to when they were still young, still naïve, when the harsh words Gokudera said to him were no more than just words. Now, ten years later, they were words with blades, words that cut deep into his very soul.

"Hayato…" he tried again. He had to correct his mistake.

Gokudera suddenly looked at him, anger making his eyes flash, his face contort. "Why the fuck are you still here? Get out of my sight before I blow the crap out of you." He snarled.

Yamamoto's face remained anguished, torn, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to take that man standing in front of him in his arms and whisper his apology in his ear. He didn't even know what he had done to make it so.

"Hayato…"

Gokudera narrowed his eyes and his hand twitched toward one of his pockets. He had upgraded from dynamite now, to quicker, more efficient and more deadly kinds of bombs, still hidden all over his body. Yamamoto blinked, surprised to find a tear running down his cheek.

He brushed past Gokudera, pausing just one moment to touch the silver haired man's hand before he swept out of the room, fighting back the tears.

Pain as he had never known before wracked his entire body with each breath.

There was a lot of pain Yamamoto could handle.

He could handle swords and bullets hitting his body with barely a grimace.

He could handle the aftershock from hitting something too hard with barely a blink.

He could watch people be riddled with bullets and slashed to ribbons without even twitching.

But this pain was different.

This pain came from someone he loved.

This pain stemmed from Gokudera Hayato.

And it wasn't a pain he could handle.

Still inside the Vongola mansion, but now in a place he no longer recognized, Yamamoto collapsed against the wall, his mind bringing memories into his head.

_The season comes when you can smell something faint in the air_

_Now I'm reliving that time when my heart was full of life  
I fell in love for the first time, everything was shining back then  
Even if it was only for a short time, we made our mark together_

Memories of soft, supple skin, memories of silver hair, of dark green eyes, of the smell of his cigarettes mixed with his cologne. He could remember the night they first kissed, the night they first made love, the time they fought together, outnumbered two to one hundred, the many times they shared a secret smile, the many times he was served breakfast in bed after a particularly tiring mission.

There were so many memories: ten years worth of them, that crushed down upon the Rain Guardian at that moment. He couldn't take it any longer and the mental pain got so great that he eventually succumbed to the numbness that occurs whenever pain gets too great for the body to handle.

He fell to the ground and passed out.

_Beneath the blooming cherry blossom trees  
The spring breeze blows and I can't hear your voice  
I prayed you weren't saying goodbye_

Gokudera stood outside the mansion, staring up the road.

The Tenth had gotten nostalgic after moving to Italy and had had cherry blossom trees planted in Italy. They were now in full bloom, their petals pink and white, as the gentle spring breeze blew through them.

In his head, he replayed the past ten minutes, squeezing shut his eyes. Yamamoto's voice was gone in his memories, no longer there, for even though the Rain Guardian's lips moved, no sound came out. "He never even said good-bye," Gokudera mumbled to himself as he stood in the driveway.

"Gokudera-kun?"

"Tenth!"

The silver haired man whirled around, quickly dipping into a deep bow when he spotted the dark brown hair that belonged to his boss.

Sawada Tsunayoshi stood on the road, his caramel eyes wide with worry, even though by now, the twenty-five year old knew that worrying Gokudera Hayato was not the best thing to do.

"Did you and Yamamoto get in a fight?" the Vongola Decimo asked quietly, knowing full well the answer.

Who hadn't heard Gokudera's shout?

Gokudera took a deep breath, paused, and took another breath.

Something was wrong about the way the air tasted.

Then, it occurred to him.

"Tenth, everybody must evacuate the mansion immediately," he said, his mind thinking quickly, while maintaining a calm look on his face.

Tsuna looked at his Storm Guardian with a puzzled expression, but he knew by now that his Storm Guardian was pretty trustworthy when it came to deciding when or when not to dive away from explosions.

"What's wrong?" Tsuna asked after flipping open his cell phone and pressing a button on the phone that enabled a security alarm in the mansion. Immediately, red lights and loud sounds blared out, telling everybody to evacuate and get somewhere far away.

"You'll have to forgive me Tenth," Gokudera said softly. "I cannot explain at this moment."

Servants were flooding out of the front door, climbing out windows and so forth, the Guardians among them.

Tsuna quickly did a head count, a habit he had grown into and a habit that annoyed his Guardians to no extent but a habit that had proved to be quite useful.

Lambo, Gokudera, Ryohei, Mukuro, Hibari. Yamamoto was missing.

"I am EXTREMELY confused," Ryohei said, his voice rising to a shout at the word 'EXTREMELY'.

"My, my, Vongola," Lambo shook his head, his one good eye slightly narrowed.

"Explain, herbivore," Hibari narrowed his eyes. "Or I'll bite you to death."

"Shut up bastard," Gokudera growled at Hibari.

"Khufufu," Mukuro smirked. "The Rain Guardian seems to be missing."

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious," Gokudera glared at Mukuro. The Mist Guardian just chuckled again. "Tenth, please go on ahead to safety," Gokudera turned to Tsuna. "As your right-hand man, I promise to return to your side, the Baseball Idiot with me," his eyes and his expression became so serious Tsuna had no other option but to believe his Storm Guardian.

"Promise?" Tsuna looked up at the man. Even ten years later, Gokudera was taller than him.

There was a moment of silence, the only noise the rustle of the cherry blossoms and Hibird nestling in Hibari's hair.

"I promise," Gokudera said before running up the driveway and into the now empty mansion.

Tsuna took a deep breath before turning to his other Guardians. "Let's go," he said, adopting a very boss-like tone.

The others understood that tone and they obeyed the Vongola Decimo without question as he led them towards the secret underground facility that the Vongola family always took shelter in.

Just as they entered the sanctuary, they heard a massive explosion.

Absolute silence followed before the roar of flames drowned out anything else.

Vongola Mansion had exploded.

_I want to see you, I miss you, we're apart  
That day's smiles flutter to the ground  
You promised it would last forever but you're not here anymore  
If my wish comes true then cherry blossoms will fall again next year  
I want to take a photo side by side, that day will never come again_

Gokudera had managed to get into the basement of the mansion when the explosion happened. The last thing he remembered before passing out was a massive slab of ceiling falling down upon him.

When he came to, he realized that the slab had broken in half when it fell upon another piece of wall that had been blown towards him by the force of the explosion. This fragment of wall shielded him from the ceiling piece so he didn't get crushed.

He sent a quick prayer of thanks up to the gods and tried to dig his way out of the rubble.

He coughed up dust and every breath he took made his ribs ache.

It was a familiar ache.

An ache that happened every time his thoughts turned to that Baseball Idiot.

Only, he wasn't so much of a Baseball Idiot anymore.

He could feel blood trickle down his face and he tasted copper in his mouth.

This explosion was his fault.

He closed his eyes, shame and horror flooding up inside him.

"Why didn't I believe those notes?" he whispered to himself, feeling the pressure on his chest grow worse with each breath he took.

Someone had been leaving Gokudera notes the entire week, in places only he would find them, in places only he knew.

Places like his bedroom, his explosives room, his training room, his library, inside his laptop, and stranger places like Uri's food bowl, and under his desk.

They were all amusing at first, compliments and observations about him. Until they steadily got worse, until they became death threats. The mysterious note leaver had even gone so far as to say, "I will kill the one closest to you just so I can have you to myself."

At that time, Gokudera had believed the note leaver had been referring to the Tenth. And then he realized Yamamoto had begun acting strange.

He had then come to the conclusion that Yamamoto was leaving the notes.

But it had always puzzled him.

Why would the Rain Guardian leave such strange notes?

Why would he threaten to kill the Tenth?

It didn't make any sense.

_I want to see you, I can't see what's in my palm  
See? A petal, the stars that shine in the sky  
Just poke at my wounds  
What I wanted to tell you the most  
Was that I'd never fall in love again_

And now this.

Now the people that he held dearest to his heart were gone.

"FUCK YOU!" Gokudera screamed, now beginning to gasp for breath. Every gulp he took brought only more of the suffocating dust that threatened to kill him. Suddenly, the pressure was lifted off his chest and Gokudera could breathe again.

The person that stood above him, looking down at the almost helpless Storm Guardian was someone Gokudera did not recognize.

The stranger had an elaborate full face masquerade mask, and wore a black trench coat.

"Do you know who I am, Gokudera Hayato?" the stranger said, voice muffled by the mask. The stranger reached down, brushing away rubble and dust from the Storm Guardian's bruised face before leaning close to the silver haired man's ear and whispering, "I am—"

The stranger didn't get any further than that before the hilts of two swords came down on the stranger's head, knocking him out instantly.

"What are you doing to Hayato?"

Yamamoto's voice was low, dangerous.

_That station where we'd meet  
And hide under an umbrella in the rain  
Is a place I can't go to by myself anymore_

"Ta…ke…shi…" Gokudera grunted, pain preventing him from moving any muscles.

Yamamoto was looking down at the stranger with a disgusted expression. He kicked the stranger in the ribs before leaning down and ripping the mask off the stranger's face.

Gokudera felt an old, buried terror rippling through his body when he saw the face underneath the mask. Mixed in with the terror was a familiar horrified wonder, as he looked at the disfigured face of an assassin he knew quite well.

The man had one eye, the other gouged out in a battle long ago, and scars crisscrossing over his entire face. Where his nose was supposed to be was a gaping hole and the side of his face that still had a good eye was burned and scarred to the extent that bone could be seen underneath what was left of the skin.

Gokudera reached out, his hand shaking with fear as he fastened the mask once more, covering that face.

"Who is he, Hayato?" Yamamoto asked quietly.

"You're not even going to help me up, you bastard?" Gokudera growled, his voice hoarser than he would like. It didn't have quite the same effect when his voice was choked with dust.

"_I loved you," I don't need a letter with that past tense phrase  
If you're kind when we break up, I'll want you to stay with me  
I'll be all alone in a place where you'll never return  
Waiting for that day  
And sing that nostalgic song in a quiet voice_

Yamamoto looked down at Gokudera, knowing that, despite what he had said, despite the pain that this silver haired man had caused him, Gokudera Hayato owned every fiber of his body. That much could not be denied. He reached down and hauled the Storm Guardian to his feet, allowing him to lean against his shoulder.

Gokudera's suit was ruined, and Yamamoto could see a big purple and black bruise spreading across the other man's side through a rip in his shirt.

"What did you do, fight when you were unconscious?" Yamamoto asked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Shut up," Gokudera wheezed.

The man on the ground groaned as he began to come to.

Gokudera pushed himself away from Yamamoto, staggering slightly before regaining his balance.

"Takeshi," Gokudera said quietly. "If I don't get out of this alive…"

"Don't talk like that, Hayato," Yamamoto pleaded.

"Let me finish, you bastard," Gokudera snapped, wincing pain flared up again. "Know that I never actually cheated on you," he kept his eyes on the slowly stirring form on the ground as he said those words.

Yamamoto couldn't help but laugh.

"I know you never did, Hayato," he smiled.

_Saying that I'd never fall in love again was a lie  
And I was joking when I said I couldn't forget you  
In the end, I don't want to forget you, I want to love you_

"Do you trust me, Takeshi?" Gokudera said softly just as the man began to get to his feet.

"Yes," Yamamoto replied immediately.

Gokudera turned to look at Yamamoto, his face blank. "Then I'm sorry for having to do this."

He threw a bomb at Yamamoto, barely missing the man, but when the explosive blew up, the force it caused was enough to knock down a slab of rubble large enough to effectively block off the swordsman from Gokudera.

Yamamoto pushed against the slab, but it was lodged against a heavy column and thus, it refused to move.

He could hear sounds; hear grunts and hisses of pain, as well as several explosions, miniature, in a row. From these, he could determine that Gokudera and that mysterious stranger were now fighting.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, YOU FUCKING BASTARD?" Gokudera's harsh voice reached Yamamoto. "GET YOUR SHITTY ASS OUT OF THIS CRAPHOLE OR I SWEAR, YOU WILL NOT SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Yamamoto let out a soft chuckle. That was his Hayato, alright. Nobody else could put that many swears into one sentence and still be able to throw explosives.

He decided to listen to his lover for once.

Hayato usually spoke wisely after all and he wasn't Tsuna's right-hand man for nothing.

He picked his way through to what remained of the stairs, heaving himself up and finding himself on ground that had been entirely singed of grass. He could see fires raging around and he felt a twinge of unease. Had he made the right decision, leaving Hayato behind?

_I want to see you, I miss you, we're apart  
That day's smiles flutter to the ground  
You promised it would last forever but you're not here anymore_

"Yamamoto!"

The swordsman turned to see Tsuna running towards him, followed by the other Guardians.

"Where's Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna demanded.

Yamamoto tilted his head backwards. "He told me to go on ahead," he whispered, horror seeping into every fiber of his being. "I listened to him…" he began to cry, tears streaking down his cheeks as silent sobs wracked his body.

"That bastard," Tsuna narrowed his eyes. "He promised he would come back alive."

Tsuna looked as if he was going to jump down at any moment, down into the ruined basement and whack some sense into his Storm Guardian.

In the silence that followed, everybody could hear the three explosions that happened. Tsuna's Dying Will Flame sparked into life and he immediately jumped down. "Yamamoto, you come with me. Everybody else stays up there." He ordered.

The Rain Guardian listened and followed the order, jumping down after Tsuna. They picked their way through the rubble, not speaking, following the sounds of explosions, of metal hitting rock and cement.

They reached the wall that blocked them from Gokudera.

"Gokudera Hayato," Tsuna said as he pushed his foot against the obstacle. He kicked the wall and a giant crack formed before the wall fell away, revealing Gokudera standing over a body, blood streaming down a gash on his face, soaking into his shirt. He had scrapes and scratches all over the rest of his body and he swayed a little to the side as he turned his head slowly.

The entire right side of his face was heavily bruised and his eye was swollen shut.

His good eye settled on Yamamoto and a flash of annoyance appeared on his face before he turned his gaze to his boss.

"Tenth," he whispered, his voice hoarse and scratchy, as the blood continued to flow freely down his face, down the gashes on his arms and legs. "I kept my promise," he tried to smile but it didn't work out so well.

He closed his eye and he began to fall. Tsuna quickly ran over to the Guardian and prevented him from falling onto the rubble.

_I'm in our room as the radio plays that song  
And the tears begin to pour on their own  
The smile on your face as you left is what I miss the most_

Yamamoto looked down at Gokudera's face.

It had been two months since the day Gokudera faced that strange assassin.

He had lost a lot of blood and broken numerous bones. The doctors had even said that if they had been a few minutes late with bringing him in, he would have lost too much blood and there would have been no saving him.

The bruises had long since healed, but Gokudera's face was gaunt now, his cheeks hollow and lifeless. His hair was matted against his forehead, and his hands were often sweaty and clammy. He lay perfectly still, almost as if he were dead, the only sign of life the soft up and down of his chest.

Yamamoto held onto Gokudera's hand, while sitting in the chair that had long since gotten used to the swordsman's presence.

Tsuna had taken to dropping by whenever he had a chance, but the Vongola Decimo was quite busy with supervising the rebuilding of Vongola Mansion and the paperwork involved. Usually, it would have been Gokudera supervising the rebuilding, but as it was, the Storm Guardian was lying in a hospital bed, incapable of any action.

It pained Yamamoto to see Gokudera like this. He didn't like this quiet, calm, peaceful Hayato.

He preferred the violent, unpredictable, foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, explosive, fuck-the-world Hayato that he knew and loved.

"Yamamoto," Tsuna appeared now in the doorway, holding a CD and a small stereo in his hands. "I want you to listen to something."

He put the player on the cabinet next to Gokudera's head and placed in the CD. He then handed the Rain Guardian a slip of paper, on which was written in a familiar scrawl, "Rain".

Tsuna pressed the play button on the player and sweet piano music began to fill the room.

Yamamoto blinked back sudden tears as he realized what this was. This was the first song Gokudera ever recorded on the piano.

He clutched his lover's hand, bringing it to his lips, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

"You know me too well, Hayato," he whispered.

_Let's make the cherry blossoms bloom and fall  
I can escape my weak self  
I'll sing a melody with the sound of tears  
A spring song plays on the radio, it's that time of the year again  
I've accepted your goodbye  
A page in my memories will always be colored bright_

**So…what did you think of my first songfic? Okay, it's a little random and I kind of want to call it a crack songfic, but…**

**Okay! Just push that little review button there and tell me what you think.**

**Flamers will be eaten by Uri. ;)**

**-Arazora**

* * *

Japanese lyrics

aitakute koishikute hanarete  
ano hi wa mou konai

toushin dai no jibun tooku no kimi ni te o furou agero  
PUT YOUR HANDS UP. YEAH. OH.

awai kaori ga tadayobu kisetsu ga meguri kuru  
kokoro hazumaseteita koro ga ima yomigaeru yo  
hajimete koi o shitanda nanimo kamo kagayaiteita  
sukoshi no jikan de sae mo issho ni toki o kizandeita

sakura saita ki no shita de kimi no koe o  
harukaze ga jamashite kikoe nai  
sayonara janai to negatta

aitakute koishikute hanarete  
ano hi no egao ga maichitte  
itsumade mo to chikatta kimi wa mou inai  
kanau nara sakura ga maioriru rainen no ima mo  
kata narabe shashin demo toritai na ano hi wa mou konai

aitai mienai te no hira  
hora hanabira sora ni hikaru hoshi ga  
kizuguchi o tsuzukun da  
mou koi nante shinai yo  
kimi ni ichiban ii takatta

ame ga futte futari de haitta kasa mo  
machiawase shita ano eki mo  
mou hitori ja ikitaku nai yo

suki datta kakokei na tegami wa imasara iranai  
wakaregiwa yasashiku suru nara soba ni ite hoshii  
kuru hazu no nai basho de ano hi o matteiru  
hitori bocchi no boku o  
omoide no ano kyoku o chiisai koe de utau

mou koi nante shinai yo nante tada no uso de  
mou wasurerare nai nante tada no joudan de  
wasuretaku nakute kekkyoku kimi ni koishite itai yo

aitakute koishikute hanarete  
ano hi no egao ga maichitte  
itsumade mo to chikatta kimi wa mou inai

RAJIO kara ano kyoku futari de ita heya de  
shizen to namida ga afurederu  
wakaregiwa no egao ga ichiban itoshiku mieta

sakase you sakura ga maiorite  
yowai jibun kara nukedaseru  
namida no oto kanaderu senritsu o utau  
RAJIO kara haru no uta mou sonna kisetsu ne  
sayonara o gutto nomikonda  
omoide no ichi PEEJI iro azayaka ni nokoru


End file.
